From the lounge room window I watched the fog roll on to the river and surrounding areas like a grey blanket. I noticed I brighten up remarkably when the sun peaked through the clouds yesterday and decided to take an early morning walk down to the river and then popped into the local gas station. They were advertising a new maciano coffee made with fresh milk. The checkout person always offers a donut with the new coffee and I always decline, muttering that I’ve already had too many donuts over Christmas but appreciated the offer. The early morning workers rush in to grab a something to drink or eat and to pay for petrol before they shuffle to wherever they work. Grabbing a cup at the gas station and walking down town and then next to the river is a small routine I have made myself especially during the cold bleak months.Sometimes I go to the library which is only a block from our place and get my latest fix on Bazar magazine or ‘How to do the best trim board or how to give your remodeled house a curved window look. I rummage through the dvd isle picking out a hopefully good flick or comedy. Next I might will sit and read magazines before going home.
All these small routines and habits keep me sane during winter. I have a couple of groups that I have joined but it is all too easy to slump into a dull half-life when it is cold, sometimes icy days. It takes a certain dogged mental choice to do the centering in the morning and occasionally if I have an opportunity, I’ll half cheat and sit in bed propped up by pillows.
I live in the hope that the sun will come back, the ice and snow will melt and I can welcome the warmer weather like a dear cousin I haven’t seen for years. I might even get emotional when they get here but I say the soon the better. In the mean time I keep my regular habits, and tick them off for the week. I do Centering four or more times a week, attending a group centering group, walking daily or at least four or five times a week down town or by the river, the gas station coffee and the library.
In the mean time, I’ll sit and watch funny movies or comedies and have a good laugh. Bring on the spring I say.
There are times when people and situations can cause us to become agitated or feel strong emotion and these can that get in the way of Centering Meditation. In my experience, it always pays to deal with the emotion before getting back to Centering, otherwise my focus is scattered and instead of being part of the flow of the universe, Centering Meditation can be the longest, boring, and painful silence.
For example, the other day, I was dealing with a sometimes-difficult tenant and I had to make clear what extra work we would and would not be doing in her apartment. Her response was one of shock but somehow, I already knew that that was coming. After the interaction and for some reason I had an old negative feeling of fighting my battles.
For some reason, the interaction with the tenant, my husband standing there but offering no backup or feedback flipped me into a flashback situation of feeling emotionally abandoned, unworthy and fighting my own battles alone. Needless to say, the communications with husband were frosty for the rest of the day.
According to Wikipedia A flashback, or involuntary recurrent memory, is a psychological phenomenon in which an individual has a sudden, usually powerful, re-experiencing of a past experience or elements of a past experience. These experiences can be happy, sad, exciting, or any other emotion one can consider. The term is used particularly when the memory is recalled involuntarily, and/or when it is so intense that the person “relives” the experience, unable to fully recognize it as memory and not something that is happening in “real time”.
In that situation I used the tapping exercise. http://www.impactministries.com/bible-based-eft/ There are different techniques that I have used over the years to help bring me back to peace. Techniques such as tapping or yoga stretches, music. One could say food is a form of comfort or drugs and alcohol are some other ways people use to quell negative emotions.
Tapping has a Chinese origin and is based on the different meridian points on the body. Tapping those meridian points while speaking will have an effect of disrupting the negative emotion that is exhibited. Then on the second time tapping the meridian points – one speaks some positive truth to replace the emotion. Finally, the third time, speaking some encouraging truth. In my case, tapping allowed me to disrupt the negative, replace and reintroduce positive truth which I had momentarily forgotten.
The intention is always to come back to peace and so my time in Centering meditation is not overwhelmed or scattered by the strong emotion. When stuff happens, as it inevitably will from time to time, consider it a wonderful chance to learn more about yourself, and be happy, thankful and grateful that you can deal with the immediate emotional state through many awesome healing techniques that are available. Then you can get back to Centering Meditation.